time for a break

i think the hardest part about being where i am at is that life suddenly seems to be all about me. not that i am naturally an unselfish person by any means, but most of the time in relationships there is give and take, and honestly i am more comfortable with giving way more than i am taking. maybe that is just another one of the lessons that i have to learn, that sometimes we will each go through times when we are weak and low and we need others to surround us. its just hard! it's so great how wonderful my friends and family have been through this whole time. i am truly blessed beyond words, but it gets hard to know that when people call they just want to hear about me. i want to hear about them! i want to be strong and independent again so i can help others! i don't want conversations and even my own darn thoughts to be all about me.
i don't mean this is anyway to say that i am not thankful for the phone calls, visits, help, and encouragement. i wouldn't be able to make it without them. i can't put into words how incredibly grateful i am for everyone. it is just a new and hard place to be.
so my decision today... to take one day off of thinking about and praying for myself... i have enough people doing that for me :-) and i am going to go down to the lake and pray for others, write some letters, do the little things that i can to support and encourage others.
i think i need a break from me.