Thursday, September 20, 2007

in the lull.

i feel like i am in a lull right now.
i just went from being in such a place of constant change, but wanting permanancy. i was traveling all over the place, living out of suitcase, living with different people every week or day. it was fun, but the whole time i wanted something that was mine. i wanted a job, a room, a place to call home. i wanted consistency and a washing machine for all the laundry piling up in my car.
and now i am in the lull.
i am waiting for that consistency, that job, that place to start. it will start on monday. sometimes i feel like it can't start soon enough and other times it is starting way too soon.
but for now there isn't a whole lot to do. i'm no longer looking for a job. i'm no longer traveling and moving and visiting. i'm sitting in my dad's house. not bored. enjoying the lack of things in all honesty. i don't even feel like calling anyone. i just feel like doing nothing. maybe that's a good thing. maybe i'ved been lulled to sleep. i don't really know. but i do know it won't last for long.
on monday the lull ends.
sometimes i think i thrive off of change. for instance, i am already thinking about what i will do when i am done with my job in wisconsin.
at the same time sometimes i think i thrive on consistency.
maybe i thrive on consistent change.
maybe i thrive in the lull.

2 comments:

amsweet212 said...

I didn't even know you had this blogspot. you should let more people know about it, since you don't seem to be getting an abundance of comments. ;)

love you!

faith said...

i'm glad you moved to blogspot. it just makes more sense... in a weird way, it almost helps us with our proximity issue (you being there, me being here). kinda brings us in the same region again: Land of Blogger.

anyway, i'll be so happy to hear more of your thoughts. i came to a new realization about you a couple days ago, that I'll have to tell you on the phone.