am i really supposed to be here??

do you ever doubt you made the right decision? i think its so easy to do. that's where i am at right now. i am doubting that i should have moved back and taken this job. mainly because i get the feeling this won't be an easy 11 months. i was so at peace about this next move! i had so much confidence coming in, but in the first 3 days of being here, that confidence has vanished. i have really been trying to take some time and think through why i am doubting. is this feeling that i have fear because that's not from the Lord. or is it unrest because i'm not supposed to be here? through it all, i still get the feeling that i am where i am supposed to be. it just is scary to think about right now.
so i moved in to the camp on saturday. my family came with the see where i'd be living, but they didnt' get to see much. they showed me my temporay housing (apparently the key to my house is in florida with a staffer on vacation) and then my supervisor said she's see me on monday morning at 8:15. i looked at my dad and said, i was coming home for the weekend! i had met a few people, but no one really seemed intersted in even knowing my name, hopefully that will change in time. today was my first day of work and i think i am really going to like the job aspect. i got trained to drive a speed boat (which unfortunately meant driving it around for a few hours :-) and how to drive a golf cart. tough lessons huh? i also found out where i'll be living come friday and here was the kicker... i was informed that my roommate is a 35 year old guy. i'm really not so sure how i feel about living with a guy... just the 2 of us in a house. he's the one on vacation with the keys, so i won't meet him until friday and then i'll move in, just in time to head home for the weekend. there aren't very many staffers, and most live off camp. i really am going to need to find things to get involved in, especially with Christian community while i am here. i didn't think it would be so hard to switch from a Christian camp to a non-Christian camp, but it has been significant, especially these first few days! but here's something i am praying about. they are hoping to hire one more person because the girl they had hired back out a couple of days ago. how cool would it be if they hired a girl that i could really connect with, not to mention live with so its not just me and this random guy living there! who knows, maybe God will even bring along a really cool sister in the Lord too! so that's my prayer at this point. and that the Lord will be my constant companion and source of love and strength. i have a feeling i'll need all He can give me.