i'm throwing myself a party...

... a pity party that is. i don't do this very often but for the next 5 minutes i want to feel sorry for myself. it might be my only consolance for this day.
today is my birthday. birthdays are great right? this one was going to be the best of all. thom had planned a whole day of surprises, only one of which i knew about... snowboarding... and we had just gotten the most amazing snow fall! my family was in on it... his family was helping him out. i had gotten off of work. i was so excited. then he got the stomach flu. plans cancelled. i'm not mad at him... he can't help it, but it definitely left for a lonely birthday.
you see, all my family had made other plans because they thought i'd be with thom all day. so now i sit here, spending the day by myself. even church and dinner... the weekly rituals are cancelled! man, this will be one long lonely day. but i am going to see leah tonight... that will make me happy. and maybe when thom feels better, he'll call and then i'll be a lot better.
okay, shed a tear with me.
party's over.
time to hike up my skirt princess!

my college mentor and husband are very wise people. i heard something that he (dave) said and it went like this...
"so often we want to know what God's will is, not so we can obediently follow, but so we can decide whether or not we agree with it."
ouch... that hurts but is so true.

things that go back too far...

today my sisters and i were looking through old photographs. we were having a great time reminiscing about the good ol' days, our favorites dresses, running around naked, etc. but not only did we find some wonderful pictures that bring back great memories, we also found some pictures that can only evoke the words "sick me out!". the laughter that followed these pictures was enough to bring tears to our eyes, and my little sister into early labor. here are two examples of things we found which could be put into the category of "things that go back too far..."

my bangs... could they start at my neck next time mommy please? sick!

my dad's fashion sense and length of shorts... notice that they are white shorts as well. i think this might be where my hate of man thighs started.

a new perspective on perspective

"here ends another day during which i have had ears, eyes, hands, and the great world around me and tomorrow begins another. why am i allowed two?" - g.k. chesterton

learning to live in the contentment of being loved means receiving the gift of perspective.

i want to live with this type of grateful perspective.

thankful for peter.

i was reading today about peter and he just made me think. i'm really glad that pter was chosen to be one of the disciples because i feel like i am a lot like peter. this book i have been reading "love beyond reason" (its amazing!) was talking about the time when peter denied Christ and then how Jesus later "reinstated" him. it also talked about how peter acted impulsively, without thinking and how he would often put his foot in his mouth. i connect with that... that's me! it also went on to talk about the time when peter tried to walk on water. he was doing great until he took his eyes off of Jesus, that's when he became filled with doubt and fear. once again that's me. i start walking out in faith when suddenly i am overcome with doubt and fear because in those moments i have taken my eyes off of Christ and started to notice the dangers all around me. i understand peter and his battle with fear. i understand his emotionally driven life. the coolest part i think though, is seeing Jesus' response to peter and knowing that that is also how Jesus responds to me. when i am drowning in my fear and doubt, He grabs my hand and lifts me out of the deep. when i impulsively cut off someone's ear, he shows grace and patience and brings healing to the situation. when i deny the Lord out of fear and my people pleasing ways, He gently reinstates me and patiently asks for my love, never giving up on me.

why do fear and doubt have to be such constant companions?

i just couldn't resist.

my friend posted this picture and i thought it was too cute not to share.

i miss the days when showing a little crack was considered cute.